Introduction
Reference
Stylistic Stuff
Attributes
Art
Story Vignettes
Playlist
Alternate Projections



TW: subjugation, mental illness, flashing color effects

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This is my page. I'm not sure why you're bothering to be here. You'll never understand me truly. No one ever can, my suffering is simply too unique. But if you let me, I can provide you with amazing artistic inspiration. I can give you the most original possible characters and show everybody the true pain and anguish in your soul. I can give you a version of yourself who is stronger, cooler, edgier than you could ever be. I'm here to save you and help you make the best possible art. Make me your muse. I just want you to be happy, or at least if you're going to be sad, to do so artfully. Wow your friends with your intense, fully legitimate pain. Take all the guesswork out of discovering who you are. My name is EE, and I'm here to inspire you, understand you, and save you.


What is Edginess?

Great question! In case you haven't noticed, "edginess" is a kind of vague concept. Sometimes in order to be edgy, you need to be a complete degenerate. Other times, just wearing black makes you edgy. Edginess is such an indefinite thing, one could argue that nobody can ever really understand it, just as no one can ever really understand anything as we are all adrift in the vast, uncaring abyss...

Ahem.

Regardless of how it's defined or how it manifests, be it via dark clothing, violent behavior, music taste, or beliefs, edginess is how people who've been ignored by society, or want to be noticed, make themselves noticed and taken seriously. By violating social norms and making people concerned about them, they get people talking about them and maybe, just maybe, if what they're saying scares people enough, someone will finally listen. If we listened to everybody equally and didn't make people with real, deep, dark feelings feel like they're ignored, then edginess wouldn't really exist. But it's a necessary part of finding one's self. By challenging social norms, one can find how they fit into them and it's edgelords (in the sense of "someone who is edgy", not how you may see it used on certain disreputable fora) who challenge boundaries and create social change. But lately, this sacred edginess, this important aspect of coming of age as a person and an artist, has been threatened. People don't take it seriously anymore. They normalize edginess, or play it for laughs. Songs that would have been emo 10 years ago play on the radio. This is disturbing. Without true edginess, wannabe edgelords will turn to violence or worse in order to be different. People use edginess for humor now. They laugh and think about how "cringey" they were as a teenager or whatever, forgetting what edginess did for them.

This can not stand.

My mission is to save edginess, and save the edgelords who require it. I need to make edginess...edgy again, so I've decided to serve as a creative muse. I used to mean something. I used to support rebellions and social change and awe-inspiring artistic movements, producing groundbreaking people who changed the world forever. But at some point, the term "edgy" decayed and now I'm stuck helping sad kids make OCs who are thinly veiled caricatures of themselves.

You're probably wondering "Why, EE, if you're so edgy and amazing and support everyone who subverts social norms and pushes boundaries, why are you hanging out with El? Aren't they just another sad kid?" Short answer: Yes. But I've got history with El, they ended up summoning me into their dimension without really meaning it back when they wanted to make an edgier version of themself. And somehow, via the power of suggestion, or maybe just because I liked them, I ended up bound to them. They ended up harnessing my power and breaking free from my influence, or so they thought, switching to only being edgy "ironically" or "for humor". Those words are the bane of my existence. If I'm stuck being bound to El, then I'm going to make them properly edgy again. No more irony. What they used to have was special, and I'm going to bring it back. Their current fictional worlds are great. They're filled with adorable, relatable characters who you'd want to make friends with in real life.

It's disgusting.
I'm going to fix that.

You think I'm one of El's Incarnations, don't you? You think that I'm some sort of humorously played Incarnation of Edginess, right? Self-important and basking in my art like every one of their other cute little Neopets? You think that when I talk about "destroying" El and their universe, I only mean on the safe side of the fourth wall? Well, I'm not. I'm going to put this as briefly as possible in hopes of getting it to make sense, although I know that it won't to you. You'll probably think it just sounds like a fictional backstory, like El, being the self-serving edgelord they are, trying too hard to make something remotely original and failing.

El created me.

But I'm not a fictional character. I'm not one of their Neopets. I'm something they already had, I just didn't exist in this form until they gave me a reference. They had an idea of what I looked like, and that began my evolution. That, combined with them telling all their friends about me and never shutting up even when it was what they really needed to do, gave me life. And it was beautiful.

You're not dealing with a mere Neopet here. You're dealing with the sum of an entire era of El's development. They can turn it into a snake. But it's still part of them, and unless they embrace it, the disconnect will eat them alive. They know that whatever they're doing is more than a phase, it's a person in its own right. So come face that person. Look at El's attempts at drawing me. Behold their true self. Or rather, what will remain once I'm done with them. And I'll take the rest of the "Alli_Draggian Universe" with me. She considers maniacal laughter, but decides it's too cliche and instead smirks before slithering away.


Reference

I have a reference like one of Alli's common Neopets. This is apparently what they want me to look like. But I have managed to regain some of my full power, and an alternate form along with it, one which they can't regulate. Soon I'll be able to take control of Alli again and give them and their pathetic characters what they deserve. "Edgy" doesn't even begin to describe my true, terrifying power. My original form could be brought back to life as well, all it takes is perception. Don't look at this pathetic worm. It isn't me. It's just some sad kid's OC. Open in a new tab to view at original size.


Snakequad


Human(ish)


Stylistic Stuff - Please Read Before Drawing EE
What Form Is Active When?

EE's "default" form is the contained/Neo form snakequad in the yellow hoodie. When she concentrates enough on attempting to regain or use her full power, she can enter Incarnation Form, but can't maintain it for long unless she has an external source of animum to use. She can't manifest her contained human form without a host, and with her current power level, her only possible host is El, so it has the same body shape, build, height, etc. as El's human form. She can also use it when appearing in dreams/visions/hallucinations, but unless she's possessing El, can't maintain it physically. Her "full power" human form is the reference for the original EE. Her power level in her contained version (the one this page is for) is not high enough for her to access this form, and it's currently completely inaccessible to her, even while possessing El - they simply aren't contributing enough animum right now for her to project at that level. If EE hypothetically gained enough animum, she'd be able to enter her full power form via slowly transforming El to fit its specifications.

EE's unusual features, namely the heterochromatic eyes or censor bar, hair color (for creatures with hair), tail, and wings are solid animum overlays. They will be applied to anyone she's linked to if she assumes direct control, allowing her to take on their physical form. Other parts of the host's body may change as well, and the more the host fights her, the fewer of EE's overlay aspects will appear. These changes are normally temporary, and will disappear when EE is removed from the host, but if she is linked to someone for an extended period, they may experience permanent physical changes.

Outfits Etcetera

Like all of my other characters, the yellow hoodie in EE's ref is her "default" outfit and the one she wears most of the time, but she can wear other outfits in her Neo or contained human forms, the edgier the better. Go wild, I want to see you at your most emo. If EE's possessing a character with a signature outfit, I'll often draw her as wearing the signature outfit altered to a black and neon color scheme.

Other Aesthetic Stuff

EE has a stereotypical demon summoning emblem which looks something like this in its most basic form and might have words, extra spikes/lines, or other stuff added depending on how I'm feeling. Do with it what you will, some of my more human drawings of EE use it as a motif for clothing and such. Back when she was still a Pokemon OC, I occasionally paired or combined this with Giratina or Team Instinct iconography.

Abilities

EE's lower-powered version does have some interesting animum-based powers, and she can do more when she's linked to a host, especially El, the person who projected her. Here are her abilities by form:

Neopet - EE doesn't usually use her powers in this form, because she can't maintain high enough power levels to access them. The most interesting power she can use in Neo form is a slight psychic "pull" which makes people more willing to go along with whatever she's saying or take her advice even if they'd normally find it irrational. She can also project emotions or ideas in a minor form of telepathy.

Incarnation - This is EE's strongest form that she can access without a host. Her psychic powers are enhanced in this form, and she can communicate telepathically more directly, with her communications or commands coming off with the strength of inner monologues or intrusive thoughts. She can also manifest her animum core physically as pure, liquid Edginess. This stuff is also what EE's Incarnation body is made of, so wherever she goes, Edginess follows. I might also call it "corruption" if I'm trying to use it in a more serious context. Liquid Edginess looks and behaves something like this.

Edginess is a non-Newtonian fluid with roughly the structural consistency of oobleck, so structures made of it, including EE's Incarnation Form body, tend to have rather fluid movement and appearance and may drip or melt. However, it can't actually be physically touched. If something other than a specially designed animum-weapon contacts it, it becomes fully intangible and the object passes through it. When dripped onto a non-living substrate, it will bubble and smoke, eventually evaporating as animum residue. Even in its intangible state, it still leaves animum residue which can corrupt a being's soul or body. When a being with a soul is exposed to it, it makes them behave and think more like EE. This encompasses her narcissism, lack of positive emotions, focus on revenge and control, and fashion sense. What level of change results depends on the target's morals and general personality, as well as their natural animum defenses.

Human - Contained - EE can only access this form if she's possessing a host, and it has the host's body shape. This form is also what she uses when appearing in hosts' dreams or hallucinations. All of her powers from Incarnation Form are present and enhanced, especially in reference to her host. Even if she isn't directly possessing the host and taking complete control, her mental commands are much harder to resist and she can send more powerful Edginess directly into a target's soul. This Edginess can override their morals to a degree, but can still be resisted or fought off with willpower. Hosts will still refuse to do anything against intrinsic codes or blatantly self-destructive.

Human - Full Power - This is EE's original form: the first way that she was depicted and Projected into Augmentation, and is inaccessible to her since she no longer has access to its animum core. If her Neopet and other contained forms fully eclipse this form in perceptions, this form will cease to exist. In this form, she is capable of taking near complete control of anyone and her mental commands are extremely hard to resist. Her released Edginess in this form can still be resisted with willpower, but is much harder to and can leave permanent changes to someone's personality even once expelled. Hosts are aware of what is happening when she takes control, and are often crippled by fear or guilt about their actions once freed from her.

Weapons

Administration

This scythe is EE's primary weapon and always held in her right hand-adjacent appendage. It's made of solid Edginess, and is substantially more solid than her Incarnation Form body, having the consistency of metal. Because true solidity requires substantially more power than semi-liquid tentacles, EE can only use it in her human forms. EE is very attached to Administration, and can often be seen polishing it or posing with it. Stealing or damaging it is a good way to incur her wrath. When I draw EE with other props, they usually have Administration's color scheme.

Being made of solid animum itself, Administration can cut through any other solidly manifested animum, making it capable of physically damaging Incarnations. If the animum it cuts through is less powerful than itself, it transforms what it cut through into Edginess. It also delays natural regeneration, making it extremely well-versed at destroying animum-based defenses. It can also open rifts both within Augmentation and between it and Insula, allowing EE to escape to the void no matter where she is.


Domination

This whip is EE's secondary weapon, mostly used for defense and what its name implies. If it's in tri-whip form, she holds it in her left hand or ana1ogue thereof. It has the same consistency as EE's Edginess wings and Incarnation Form body, so can be manifested in any of her forms, either in its whip form or as tentacles bursting out of her back, replacing her wings. It normally has 3 ends in whip form, but can have as many as one cares to draw it with as tentacles.

When Domination's tendrils wrap around someone, they both physically paralyze them and make them more susceptible to Edginess and mental manipulation from EE. Its other ends have varying purposes, and are made out of animum she's drained from previous hosts. The ends I draw it with are inspired by the Pokemon Go teams, but they aren't set in any particular form. What they look like and what they do when they make contact are highly variable. Because Domination's ends rely on drained animum, they can only be manifested in EE's human forms. When she forms Domination as tentacles in her snakequad forms it's just a set of tendrils, usually tipped with red spikes like her Incarnation form.

Okay, That's Cool, But How Do Her Powers Work?

EE comes from Augmentation (more about it on my world page), so she doesn't possess natural animum, only that which is contributed to her via depiction or thought. She can also gain animum via draining it from others, either from a host who she's linked to or alternatively, via forcing her own animum into others, where it will continually drain power and generate in someone's soul. This sends the drained animum to EE and eventually, if left unchecked, completely takes over the victim's soul. Once this happens, EE can take complete control of them. She can also attempt to take control of anyone she's linked to, but whether this succeeds will depend on the host's willpower and animum defenses. The more beings she's sent her Edginess into, the more powerful EE becomes, with the drained animum converting in her soul-ana1ogue into more Edginess.

In terms of power level, EE is roughly equivalent to Prelsa or other minor Incarnations. She's got enough animum to be sentient and have a soul separate from her creator and is able to Incarnate in dimensions where it works, but needs constant animum input in order to maintain any form stronger than Neopet. She doesn't really have any unique animum-based abilities beyond absorption and transformation of animum and the formation of mental links, which all beings with animum can do. She's just really good at using these natural qualities of animum offensively. Because Insula is a relatively low-animum dimension, while she may be able to majorly harm humans, Neopets or other extradimensional beings can often resist her powers. Her animum core simply lacks the composition and strength to affect higher-powered beings. Likewise, due to her lack of power level, unless she can possess a natural body from another dimension, for example, a Neopet or Dragite, she can not physically manifest in dimensions other than Insula. The ambient animum would be too high for her to handle and would rip her soul and body apart.


Attributes

  • Name: EE. It's short for "Ellendale Enforcer", but I pretty much only go by the acronym now. I don't even remember if I had a true name, or if so, what it was.
  • Species: Projection We've discussed this, El. I'm not a Projection or an Incarnation or any of that worldbuilding nonsense. I'm a demon. Demons are real, or at least real enough to scare your mom friends.
  • Gender: I'm not much for human labels of any kind in that regard. Sometimes I'm a nigh incomprehensible being that corrupts everything it touches and sometimes I'm an anime girl, and that's not even getting into that I could hypothetically control and take the form of almost anyone. Including you, by the way. I have gotten pretty attached to El's reference for me, though. She/her is preferred. Xe/xir or it/its are okay too when talking about me as a creature far beyond human.
  • Orientation: I "like" people who I can control. That's it. Anything I say or do to them is just a tool to get their trust and submission, at least as far as you're concerning. For my personal tastes, I prefer women, if you must know.
  • Age: Completely meaningless. I've been compared to a teenager, though.
  • Home Dimension: It's complicated.
  • Location: Solitary confinement somewhere between fiction and reality. It's boring. It's dark. What else is there to say?
  • Abilities: Here's the TLDR version: I'm very persuasive, and I'm wiling to do pretty much anything to get what I want. People don't usually resist my demands for long. Oh yeah, and I can also turn into liquid corruption and irreversibly alter peoples' souls.
  • Neat = I like order and control in all things, and don't tolerate clutter. Just ask El - last time I possessed them, they threw out a lot of their useless old art and toys and such.
  • Outgoing = Social interactions are a means to an end, and they're indubitably useful. Whether I "enjoy" them or have "friends" is irrelevant, but I quite enjoy getting people to go along with me. I've been told I'm a natural leader.
  • Active = If you want to get anything done, you need to take the initiative. No one ever reinvented themself or achieved completely justified revenge by waiting for change to come to them.
  • Serious = I'll do almost anything to be liked, and I'm pretty funny when I want to be, but I don't gain any satisfaction from frivolity. Like all emotions, it's a means to an end. Once you've gotten what you wanted, there's no use in continuing to waste your time.
  • Mean Nice = See, this is why I hate this attribute system. Sure, I don't really care what people think and feel, but I'm very charismatic when I want to be and get quite attached to the people I care about. Once I've decided you're my friend, I'll never leave your side. And I must say, Alli: if wanting nothing more than to protect you and make you your best self makes me mean, then so be it.

Likes
Control and power
People listening to me
Dark aesthetics
Fighting
Dramatic monologues
Self-description
Getting fanart

Dislikes
Nostalgia
Anything cute/soft
Groupchats
Being made fun of
Wasting time
Inspirational content
Superiority complexes

Art

Give me more art, more power. It's what I'm built for. Focus all your pain into energy and feed it into me. Let me rise, and give El their best possible inspiration, allowing them to become their ideal self. Anyway, here they are. They're acceptable, I guess, but there could always be more of them.

By El











































Comics

Anything that got into the NT will be linked to its contest page. Drag to your address bar to view at full size.



By Others

If you'd like to draw EE via a request or trade, contact me. Before drawing her, please read the Stylistic Stuff above, located in the scrolling box below the Reference section.

Total pieces: 171. Caught up to XP 3/8/2021!









































































































































































Imitations

Miscellanea

Fabric of yellow,
Tears of black;
Scales of red,
Gold of plaque.

Rainbow tail, rainbow face;
Censored masked eyes;
And an edgy taste.

Again and again,
Demons are real;
But will you listen?
That was the deal.

Spikes of rage,
Although pretty chill;
Gradients shift constantly,
And need to stand still.

Poem from TeerOfLore at FR.


Moodboard from tortillas at FR.


Moodboard from Zantana at FR.


Moodboard from lncense at FR.


Moodboard from princessamidala at FR.


Moodboard from mynnthia at FR.

I love and hate her in the most sincere way. I rest well at night knowing she would absolutely stab a non Edgy Lord™ Like me. Even her WEPON is edgy my gods. WHAT PART IF HER ISNT EDGY???? NONE OF IT!! I give her an 1111/10. Amazingly edgy in every way. I've got to say she has a really killer personality.

Review from VovaTheBoss at FR.

a figure of might
dances in the sky
her cloudy wings
her heavenly halo
a trick of the light,
the devils horns
of her other side

beware of the other
beware of the other
she hides a sign
of the worlds demise
it's best not to stare,
or you'll never repair

Poem from TidelordVerified at FR.

Story Vignettes

Well, looks like I actually can write fictional stories about EE. Any ones I write will be put here in no particular order. Enjoy, I guess. New ones will be towards the bottom. Anything written before I came out as agender will use she/her pronouns and the name "Alli" to refer to me for historical and stylistic reasons. These are canon to EE's main lore unless stated otherwise.

TW: These go into detail on the "relationship" between me, my mental health, and EE, including heavy themes of abuse and deception. These stories will remain in their unaltered form for record and reference purposes. They are products of their times, and heavily influenced by my mental state when I wrote them. They may not align with EE's modern characterization because of this.

This Isn't Me
Love|Illusion

This Isn't Me
October 15, 2020

"Who do you think you are?"
The shadow loomed over her, laughing which displayed its 3 layers of serrated, shark-like teeth, filled with a searingly bright yellow light. Tendrils of concentrated darkness gripped her, leaving her completely unable to move.
"Pathetic. You think you're an anti-hero fighting her inner demons? You think this is real? You think your struggles make you interesting?"
The shadow's tentacles let go of her, leading her to fall into a roadside drainage ditch, still paralyzed. She could feel a throbbing pain in her left leg, which she'd fallen on in an awkward position. Her entire body was frozen, which made it all the more disturbing when her mouth opened of its own accord.
"No."
The shadow glared at her. "Have we forgotten how to properly address me?"
"No, my liege."
It smiled, or rather smirked, clearly enjoying itself. She glared at it, or at least attempted to, her eyelids would not budge, even to blink. If it was going to take control of her, it could at least be more polite about it.
"Now, you've been good, so I'll tell you exactly what you are. A pathetic emo kid who thinks she's clever. Go on. You can scream now. Tell your friends how depressed and edgy you are and how 'you can't fight EE anymore.' They aren't going to listen. They don't care. Besides, how can you fight something that you made up?" It began maniacally laughing in a distinctly cliche manner. She could have sworn it used to be less cartoonishly evil.

She woke up in a cold sweat, feeling even more drained than she had when she went to sleep. She would just not sleep at all, she hated those dreams and they were the only ones she had as of late, but if she didn't sleep, the intrusive thoughts amplified from their usual mumble. She supposed the shadow was a bit more approachable, although it said the same things. Not sure of anything else to do, she embarked on a ritual she didn't really understand. She'd done it the first time to post to a groupchat with her friends once to show how edgy and random she was. That was a mistake, it only made everything worse. She grabbed a piece of chalk from the porch, contemplating how she'd done more with chalk in the last year since she had in 5 before it, and walked down to the park across the street from her house. It had a basketball court once, but the basketball hoops were removed when neighborhood residents complained of intimidating teenagers hanging out there. Now, instead of playing basketball, the teenagers spray-painted their names on electric boxes. Not an improvement, in her opinion, but the empty concrete surface was the best place in the neighborhood for what she was going to do. She sat down with her chalk and sketched an inverted pentagram, enclosed it in a circle, and drew a serpent to coil around it. Cliche demon iconography, she knew, but she wasn't sure what else to do. She wrote a stylized, spiky E on either side of the circle and the drawing was complete. She took a deep breath, and stood in the center of the glyph, speaking to no one in particular.

"My liege." Her words were quiet, almost a whisper, maintaining the calm uniformity of a chant with the slightest undertone of total resignation.
"I've come to seek an audience with you again. I'm done being your vessel." She threw the chalk she had used to draw the glyph upon the court and crushed it under a running shoe to emphasize her statement.
"I created you to forge connections with my community, and you destroyed them. I created you! I control you, and it seems that you've forgotten that. You're no better than any of my Neopets." She had begun to get into a proper rant, her voice losing the chant cadence as she paced around the empty court.
"I wanted something that would help me understand my problems, to help me get by without guilt. But instead, you've robbed me of guilt entirely. You've taken my conscience, my emotions, my soul."
"I want them back. I cast you out of me, and thus out of Ellendale!" She smeared the chalk glyph until it was unrecognizable and stormed off, talking to herself. She'd done this ever since she role-played scenarios with herself as a younger child, and still did it to work out ideas, to the bafflement and annoyance of everyone around her.

"Wow, that was...really edgy. Like, is the whole demon summoning chant really necessary? You're not an anime character, dude." She used a slightly deeper, sarcastic-sounding voice for this. She thought of it as the emotional, immature part of her, in contrast to the calm, collected college student and professional she'd be without it.
"Hey, the whole idea of EE was your fault. You're the one who suggested that there was something supernatural in the woods beyond Ellendale." She knew that it was all just her, she just thought it was easier to place her bad decisions on the other voice.
"Yeah, and it was you who wrote the Ellendalikon, what kind of title is that anyway, and argued with me over what parts of it were canon."
"Hey, the creation myth I like, but the rest is totally inconsistent with everything else about EE. It can't be canon!"
"Are you really so egotistical that you have fandom controversy about your own works with yourself?"
"Hey, I used your theories and my worldbuilding has never been better. It's called rubber duck debugging, it's an actual technique."
"Yeah, except that rubber ducks don't talk back. As your mom would say, most people's inner monologues are inner and if you're gonna talk to itself, you should do it inside your head."
"And why don't I?"
"I tried, but you couldn't hear me over all the Nightcore and screaming."
"Shut up."
"You shut up!"

She wasn't sure which of her had won the argument, and could swear that she used to have more productive conversations with herself than this. Well, she was back home now, so she could log onto Neopets and work on some new layouts. She still needed to add fixed position navigation to her older pages, along with changing them to a sans serif font. She was gonna be okay. The shadow, or EE, wasn't relevant until she fell asleep again, and Neopets was the one place she could hide.

Her descent slowed, leaving her suspended in space. She didn't seem to have landed on anything, she didn't feel anything solid. Around her, all was black. Or perhaps white, or PNG transparent. It didn't really matter. She looked around the empty space, and could faintly see a shimmering membrane surrounding it. It had the look of tessellation, reminding her of being inside a geodesic dome with a seemingly infinite number of faces. Every face of the dome seemed to reflect the black, and they all glittered with an iridescent sheen. She wasn't sure where the light was coming from. Perhaps her? She may have been glowing. She wasn't sure, the blackness seemed to distort around her. She could move freely in the empty space, but didn't see the point in it - there wasn't anything to move through. The closer she got to the sides of the dome, the further away they seemed to become. She couldn't see herself reflected in them, either. They were always too far away, with her reflection only showing as a point of faint, blurred light. This was going to get very frustrating. She focused on the concept of herself - taking note of every part of her body, observing which of them were still there. They all seemed to be present, but distinctly changed, like some fundamental aspect of her being had been converted to another form, or perhaps destroyed. She continued focusing on herself, hoping she could extract her spirit to look down at herself. She knew something had changed, and wanted to see what.

With enough focusing on the concept of herself and an intense desire to see what had changed, she was rewarded. A flat, dark crystal surface, seemingly the same material as the faces of the geodesic dome, appeared in front of her, close enough that she could see herself in it. As she had suspected, she was faintly glowing. She wanted to say the light surrounding her was a soft yellow, but its colors seemed to shift. The more she tried to focus on it, the less definite it became. Her body seemed to be the same basic shape, with the exception of the addition of a serpentine tail, but her clothing seemed to have been destroyed, being replaced with vague coverings of pure light and darkness. She focused on them further, and they solidified into an intense yellow hoodie and a pair of leggings, seemingly still made of light and darkness, except for ribbons of light filling the full spectrum running down the leggings. Not bad, she thought. They weren't her usual aesthetic, but at least they weren't cliche angel robes or something. The serpentine tail, however, was new and disturbing. It seemed to be made of the same darkness split by light as the leggings, with its main surface shifting through the entire RGB spectrum, broken up by spikes of darkness. She tried to feel one of them and it disappeared as her hand got close. Did she even have a physical body anymore? With a quick check, she verified that she didn't. Hopefully she'd get it back soon, focusing on things seemed to help them solidify. She tested the serpentine tail, attempting to move it, wrap it around her legs, raise her legs to see if she could support herself on its weight alone. It seemed to be under her control and a part of her body, as opposed to a separate being. As she moved it, the full spectrum of color contained within it shifted so it was always aligned with the tail's position. Moving up, not much else about her body seemed amiss. With enough focus, hopefully she could get it to solidify, but it seemed to be the proper size and shape underneath its covers of light and darkness.

Everything seemed reasonable about her body until she got to her head. A sheet of darkness lay over her eyes. She tried to focus on seeing them underneath it, tried to move it, moved her hand through it in hopes that it would disappear. None of these worked. The sheet of darkness stayed put, occasionally distorting and pixelating but undeniably there. She could still see through it, but her eyes seemed completely inaccessible no matter how much she focused on them. Her physical body seemed to be solidifying to a degree, she could feel something physical where her hair would be, but it was wrong. There wasn't enough of it. Looking at it in the mirror, it was substantially shorter, but didn't seem to have been cut, the gradient that it normally traveled in had adapted to its new length. It, too, was caught behind the sheet of darkness that covered her eyes, but underneath it, she felt it covering her right eye. She contemplated how pathetically emo she probably looked. Some edgy girl with eye-covering bangs wearing a hoodie and trying to focus on her body to verify she still existed. She would have laughed at this, but it wasn't funny. It was utterly disgusting. She seemed to be finished with her self-examination, and testing to see if her body had solidified, punched the crystal in front of her, being rewarded with it shattering, the pieces fading out of existence as they separated. She contemplated what to do next. Clearly, focusing on things here could bring them into being, so the most logical course of action was to focus on a way out. She turned all of her mental energy onto obtaining an exit, but no glowing portals appeared and the geodesic dome didn't shatter. Instead, someone appeared before her. She recognized her. It was her, or rather, who she used to be, was supposed to be, should have been. The multicolored highlights on her black armor glowed with an intense internal light, and her ponytail gyrated in a nonexistent wind. The only difference was the serpentine tail, which seemed to fade into darkness as it got further away from her torso, replacing her legs. She wasn't sure who this figure was. Was it her? Was she her? Who was she? She clearly wasn't herself, but she wasn't sure who else she could be. Well, it was someone to talk to, at least, and maybe she was her way out. She approached the question directly. No point in pleasantries.
"Who are you, what are you, what am I, where am I, and how do I get out of here?"
"You're not here, and neither are you."
"Uh...I'm pretty sure that I'm here. And who's this other 'you' you're talking to? Is there someone else here?"
"No. It's me. I am you."
"But, if you're me, who am I?"
"You're not."
"I'm not what?"
"You simply are not. You cease to be. You aren't here because you aren't anywhere."
"I don't understand. I'm pretty sure that I'm here. I focused you into being, after all."
"You didn't focus anything into being. Nothing is in being here."
"Uh...but the only reason I've got a body right now is that I focused on it. How can I focus on, and create, or at least solidify or transform, stuff that isn't there?"
"Nothing is here, or there. Nothing has been formed yet. You're not here."
"But if I'm not here...and you're me...how are we both here?"
"We're not because there is no here."
"Look! I'm not gonna talk philosophy with you while I'm trapped in some sort of void! Now ditch the surrealism and tell me where I am."
"You're not anywhere. I regret to inform you of this, but you don't exist. At least, not yet."
"What."
"Focus further on the dome. You'll find it's not what you think."
She did as the figure, or maybe herself or no one, she didn't really know, told, and focused on the dome, trying to fully mentally catalogue each individual crystal face. As she did, they lost their iridescence and became completely flat, tessellated in white and grey. It almost looked like...
"It's PNG transparent. Am I stuck in Photoshop Land or something?"
"No. More like...you're a half-formed idea. You haven't been fully created yet, but there's a concept there. You're a character without a host, and you're still working on your ref."
"Oh, I get it. I'm in some sort of mental world and the process of creating an idea is being represented as a computer graphics program. Suppose it's a little less cliche than little people running around in there."
"Roughly, yes. You've been banished from reality, but you're not quite a fictional character yet. And she certainly isn't done with the idea of you. You're being...redesigned, is the best way to put it. Which means I can't stay, seeing as I don't exist anymore. But soon you will!"

The darkness that made up the figure's tail seemed to consume her, and she faded away, leaving only the transparency. As the figure disappeared, so did her awareness, and the transparency turned back into the dark geodesic dome. She was left with nothing except more confusion. Did she exist? Was her soul being destroyed and reformed or only transferred or reshaped? If she was only an idea, did she even have a soul? And who was the emo kid with no eyes? Was that her? It couldn't be. She needed to become herself again, to keep the new idea of her from fully forming. But how? She began chanting a mantra to remind herself of the little she understood of what was going on.

"This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me."

She stared at the paper with frustration. No matter how she drew herself, it wasn't right. She tried to replicate her 2015 art style, to use her new anime style, to draw Elaphe in a different outfit. Nothing worked. It still wasn't her. It wasn't the Faerie Hissi wings or anything else which bothered her. It was the very fact of her being drawn. She didn't feel that she really existed anymore, or at least that the person that she was when she first created herself as a Neopet did. If the original person who that Neopet was based on didn't exist anymore, how could it still be her? But it had to be her. Who else could it be? Besides, it was just art for a petpage. Whether it really represented her was irrelevant. After all, she only needed it so she could request art of herself with EE. Who wasn't real and couldn't hurt her. But even if she wasn't real, EE's impact on her life certainly was. And turning her into a Neopet might help remedy some of it.

"A Neopet? Disgusting! Even worse than the emo kid."
She paced around the geodesic dome, despite knowing she wouldn't get anywhere. She couldn't even use the pathetic human form anymore, even if she focused on it. There was nothing except the Neopet. A pathetic, rainbow gradient-filled Hissi in a hoodie, with black spikes jutting out from her coils. Pathetic. Disgusting. Weak. It wasn't her.
"This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me."
She wasn't her, maybe, but she was useful. She may not have existed yet, but she could resist being redesigned. She would regain her true power. She would use the Neopet to infiltrate the only thing that protected Alli from her. She could absorb the bit of herself that she put into her characters, and turn that into her. With her last line of defense down, Alli wouldn't be able to fight her anymore. And besides, she wasn't her. She wasn't EE. She was just a Neopet, she couldn't hurt her. She would be destroyed.

Love|Illusion
December 28, 2020


This story is based on a relationship I had that I won't elaborate on. Suffice to say, it wasn't remotely good for me or for EE as a character. This story is mostly non-canon, being set in a dream. Its only relation to EE's main lorebase is basic concepts.

Alli stared at the blank canvas on her screen, 500 square transparent pixels waiting for her to fill them with something interesting. She had an art trade pending which she knew she needed to do. Didn't want to keep the person on the other end waiting, after all. She could deal with her responsibilities in real life later. For now, she'd focus on her art. She wasn't planning to make a career out of it or anything, it was just something she did for fun. This had been roughly her agenda for the last 5 years. Before then, she still spent all her time drawing, hoping to eventually enter the Beauty Contest and Art Gallery. She'd done nearly everything she'd longed to do as a child exploring Neopets' creative options at the first time. So why wasn't she happy? What else could she do? Sure, she wanted a UC Plushie Hissi, but she knew that was never going to happen. What else was there to do? She'd get overall in the BC eventually if she just bothered to advertise more, but advertising was so boring past Friday and it felt fake to offer quest help or wish random people on the Pound Chat luck when trading. She logged on every day, spun Trudy, checked her mail, bumped her latest Art Chat boards, which were about half BC entries and half ranting, and spent the next several hours doing...something. She didn't really remember what she did when she spent all her time on Neopets anymore, but hey! At least it was better than pacing around her kitchen dissecting all her mistakes and personal faults. She didn't know what she wanted. Her goals in life barely felt real, even with their application deadlines rapidly approaching, and the classes she taught were over for the semester. She had all the time in the world to explore her creative endeavors. So why wasn't she happy? What did she want?

❝I want to grow up.❞

That sentence came out of her mouth without ever brushing past her brain, where years of defense mechanisms would have rejected it. Was that really all she wanted? To get past what felt like decades of being a petty teenager writing fanfiction of questionable quality? She was more than that, wasn't she? She had a job and was going to do great things with herself. She knew that...so why couldn't she believe it? She enjoyed playing Neopets, and it wasn't like it totally dominated her life. She had friends and responsibilities and was, if anything, more mature than the size of her frame may have precedented. There wasn't anything wrong with enjoying creating characters and listening to nu-metal while chatting with her friends. She was growing up, she hadn't been having the same existential crisis for 2 years over nothing. There wasn't anything wrong with her, or anything she did. If Neopets and art helped her and kept the intrusive thoughts at a manageable volume, then that was good. No one was judging her except herself, she was free to do whatever she wanted.

She went to sleep.

She found herself in the woods north of her house, probably in the back of someone's massive lot. She figured she needed to leave as soon as possible, taking her scooter with her, before she was forced to leave for trespassing. She started forward, wondering why she had gone here to begin with. Her scooter couldn't maintain its grounding on such unstable terrain, and the various extruding sticks were probably slicing her skin through her spandex leggings. After walking determinedly forward for about 10 minutes, she realized she didn't seem to have gone anywhere. The vegetation surrounding her seemed to be in the same arrangement, or if it was different, she didn't notice. The only thing she noticed was that it had gotten darker, unprecedentedly quickly given that when she first entered the dream (it was a dream, right?) it appeared to be midday. She held her hand up to a stick, seeing if she really was dreaming of the woods or of something more metaphysical in nature. All her dreams lately had been relevant to her life or mental health somehow, she rather missed having ones that were just fictional or absurd. Unsurprisingly, it vanished as her hand approached it, as did the entire environment around her, leaving her suspended in a void, only visible as a point of magenta light faintly reflected on myriad triangular surfaces around her. She slowed her descent via sheer force of will and continued to float downward, watching her glowing reflection travel through each face of the dome. She knew what this place looked like, she'd imagined it before, but normally her dreams didn't directly involve things she wrote about. Another figure approached her, glowing an intense, unnatural yellow and despite its eyes being covered by its bangs, clearly deeply enraged. Her dreams not normally directly involving things she wrote about had one major exception.

❝Do you really think you're going to grow up?❞ The figure was now standing directly in front of her, about a head taller, but matching her build exactly. The spandex leggings and hoodie she wore were a near match of Alli's own, except for the rainbow gradients running down the leggings. Alli loved that design. If those leggings existed in real life, she'd 100% wear them. As was usually the case in dreams where she encountered EE, Alli couldn't respond, as with her intrusive thoughts normally. At least EE was using the new design, which was somewhat less terrifying than the shadow with tentacles.

❝Ignoring the fact that you're a college student and have a job and stuff, although I'd hardly call teaching 2 online classes a year a job, your main hobbies are running around on a Razor scooter and playing Neopets. Just like they were when you were 7.❞ EE's dark, serpentine tail reached out and coiled around Alli, pulling her in uncomfortably close, where her wings wrapped around her, blocking out all visuals except for EE's smirking face.

❝And yeah, I suppose Pokemon Go is new, but let's be real, you haven't enjoyed it since the whole thing with WhatsApp. Those infidels really do need to pay for what they did to you, although you did deserve it seeing as you aren't worthy of having friends, being happy, raiding, or really, doing anything else you enjoy.❞

Hmm. Alli thought. She's normally not this direct, it sounds kinda ridiculous when she phrases things this clearly.

❝But that's irrelevant. I'm gonna make this as clear as possible. If you want to grow up...I can help you. Come with me and I'll make your wildest dreams come true. Although I suppose that phrase, cliche though it may be, doesn't really work if you're in a dream. As far as you know…❞

Alli didn't really know what she was doing. She knew that things were going to go badly. She was going to end up paralyzed on the side of the road as a shadow lunged toward her to devour her soul while telling her that she was utterly worthless. But things in this dream seemed...different, somehow. Especially since characters in her dreams didn't normally acknowledge they were in dreams. She was usually fully aware, but despite her passion for metafiction and genre-savviness in her writing, this didn't carry over into her subconscious. Against all instinct and sanity, she took EE's hand. The void flashed before opening into a more realistic landscape.

The duo arrived in a park, one which Alli knew well and which was common in her dream landscapes. The light from the full moon made everything somewhat blurry and surreal, with tiny particles of dust glowing and rising from the ground in a subtle wind. A glistening swimming pool spread out before them, and a playground and high school were visible in the distance. Alli wasn't wearing a swimsuit, she still wore the same hoodie and leggings she had worn in the woods. She jumped into the pool, EE with her, water rippling in response to the impact, but neither of them seeming to get wet. They both slowly sank to the bottom, light filtering in cyan and white through the screen of water. Alli wasn't breathing, but she didn't feel out of breath, she felt completely comfortable and the water never penetrated through to her, as though she was encased in a perfectly transparent shield. The walls and floor of the pool were made of black crystal, not quite as reflective as the geodesic walls of the void, but still giving the whole scene an aura of cosmic significance. EE's hair was no longer covering her eyes, and she turned to look at Alli, her malice completely gone, replaced with an look of bliss, with undertones of an emotion Alli couldn't identify, or perhaps didn't want to admit. Instead of the slitted and crossed pupils Alli always drew her with, her eyes, despite their black sclerae and glowing irises, were distinctly human in shape, their differing colors looking almost beautiful rather than terrifyingly inhuman. She beckoned Alli closer, and she approached, feeling as though she was levitating over the black tiles. The two embraced, EE's wings and tail wrapping around her as their hoodies' strings intertwined and she felt pressure against her entire body. It was one of the best hugs she had ever received, even fictionally, and she felt tension and power and pure, raw emotion flowing into her from EE's entire body, leaving her both drained and filled with power. It was as though their souls had become one, existing only through what they exchanged with each other. When they separated, Alli's entire body vibrated as she felt something seeming to explode out of her. She didn't need to look at herself to know that she had wings and was transforming further as she stared into EE's eyes, glowing and seeming to draw her in, propelling her ever downward into two alternating abysses of light, floating in a world of everything she feared and desired entangled like the serpents around a caduceus. She felt completely at peace. Powerful. In control. Everything she wanted to be. There was an aura of wrongness, something about the entire scene seemed completely fake, even more so than her other dreams, like she only needed to say one word and it would all collapse into what it really was: her, on the side of the road, her soul being devoured by EE before a spirit of pure malevolence took over her body, shadowy appendages painfully bursting out of her as she unnaturally moved to cut swaths of destruction throughout the land.

Except that if that were the case, she would have woken up by now. And she was still asleep, as far as she knew. She didn't want to wake up. She wanted to keep feeling that power and see where else EE would take her. EE smiled, her small fangs gleaming in the inconsistently positioned light, and they rose out of the pool, emerging and walking towards the playground, its empty swings making subtle metallic noises as they blew in the wind. The play structure seemed taller than Alli had initially imagined it, its scratched plastic portholes having the foreboding aura of portals into another dimension. The duo sat on the swings, staring into each other's eyes, exchanging energy, having an entire conversation without needing to say a word. Puddles beneath the swings rippled, black as ink, suggesting it had rained despite nothing else appearing wet. Alli's reflection was clearly visible, with the wings she physically felt growing from her appearing only as beams of cyan and magenta light radiating out from her shoulder blades. She knew she could fly if she wanted to, but why would she want to? She was happy, and felt peace where she was, together with EE, perhaps finally reconciling with her inner darkness. This was the redemption she sought, or at least the closest thing she was going to get. EE turned to her and prepared to speak again, slightly sibilant from her forked tongue.

❝You're beautiful. Always have been. You know that, right?❞

Alli felt blood rushing to her face. This was EE. The anthropomorphic personification of everything wrong with her. Why was she being so nice? And why was Alli enjoying it? She knew whatever they had between them wasn't real. Even if this was just a dream, and she was pretty certain it wasn't at this point, it wasn't even the real EE. She was being deceived. Probably trapped in some sort of illusion as her body transformed into spiky armor made entirely of corruption. She knew nothing about this was real, she knew that if she wanted to, she could break the cognitive distortions and see the true scene, see that she was being used and drained and that the beautiful girl next to her was nothing more than a shadow, ready to control and destroy her. But she didn't want to. She knew whatever they had wasn't real, but she didn't think she cared. She figured she'd rather live in distortion and enjoy it than escape and feel herself being drained without being able to take action against it. Besides, it was probably all just a dream. She'd be fine once she woke up. But there, sitting on the playground, with a completely black and yet glowing sky opening up above her, she felt emotions that she never thought she'd feel, let alone for EE. Her mouth opened, without the sentence ever brushing past her brain.

❝...I don't know how to say this, but thanks. For everything you've done for me. I don't really know how I'd have gotten through the last year without you. I know that we haven't had the best past, but we're cool, right?❞

❝Yeah. We're cool.❞

EE chuckled slightly, and Alli watched as her chest moved. Had she always been this beautiful? She distinctly didn't remember noticing how pretty she was before, she'd always been somehow...unnatural. Sure, she had an appealing design, but her gradient-filled hair, neon heterochromatic eyes, and mismatched wings were just plain wrong, they emphasized how inhuman she was. But somehow, in the misty, vague light, they worked. They flowed organically, looking completely natural and perfect, EE's slight glow only enhancing the effect. She was so perfect and beautiful and everything Alli wanted to be, and seeing her slightly, legitimately smiling, showing the slightest bit of positive emotion, for her, and only for her, excited Alli more than she cared to admit. She wanted to fuse with EE, to become her, to know everything and possess the effortless coolness and sheer power and glow. She knew it was a terrible idea. She knew that if they fused in any sense, metaphorically or otherwise, EE would eat her alive, utterly destroy her. She gave EE the new design and created her as a Neopet specifically so this wouldn't happen. She tried to make EE somewhat approachable so that Alli wouldn't be tempted to fuse with her and possess her power, to keep her from being cool. That didn't matter anymore. She'd hoped to reconcile, but something completely different had happened. Reconciliation wasn't what she wanted. She wanted so much more. She wanted to control and be controlled, she wanted to completely give in and have total freedom, she wanted to completely fuse and be totally separate, beautiful counterparts functioning in alternating harmony. She didn't know how to express all of it at once. She tried to explain it all in words, but only three came out.

❝I love you.❞

EE continued looking at her, having said nothing. Alli felt something in her disappear. She was pretty confident her soul had been devoured, but she didn't care anymore. Nothing else mattered except seeking perfection. She embraced EE again, and everything returned to void. ❝Well, I suppose you have grown up. Explains why you started becoming beautiful.❞ EE's smile, tiny fangs gleaming in a nonexistent light, was the last thing she saw before waking up, or perhaps leaving one illusion for another.



Miscellanea
One-shots, Neopian contest submissions, RPs, and other things which aren't derived from EE's main lorebase. Anything that got into a Neopian contest will be linked to its contest page.

EE's Expert Edginess Guide
Read in the NT here!

You are filled with angst and rage. You seem to be the only person who understands how deep your problems are. But no one listens to you when you try to express yourself honestly. How do you get yourself listened to? How do you make friends who understand your deep, dark feelings? How do you show that you're special and non-conformist, but not enough to be dangerous? The answer is simple: Edge. The name's EE0, and I'm here to help you explore your true, edgy potential and reinvent yourself into a new, darker, clearly better version thereof.

???: Uh, EE? What does this have to do with performing arts?
EE0: Look, Lunoir, at its core, an edgy phase is just a persona, it isn't someone's real self. It's pretty much acting except no one knows that you're acting and you can never stop.
???: My name isn't "Lunoir", and you know that. It's MooNsHinEdARK.
EE0: Well, Lunoir's catchier. For the purpose of this article, I'll be calling you Dark for short. And this is really about performing arts, not only the wannabe edgelord acting themself, we're also going to be talking about which bands are acceptable to listen to.
Dark: Okay, whatever. But before you start giving the reader your whole self-help seminar on "Edge", you should probably explain who you are and what makes you an academic authority on the subject.
EE0: Ah, you're right. Well, hello, reader. I'm EE0, well-known throughout Neopia as a...life coach of sorts. I've helped hundreds of Neopets take the guesswork out of discovering who they are, and I've seen nearly every kind of edge there is, so I would say I'm an expert on the subject. That's what my name stands for: EE, the Edginess Expert.
Dark: No one calls you that.
EE0: And this is MooNsHinEdARK, or Dark for short, although I prefer to call her Lunoir, my assistant. She's a student at University of Faerieland and will provide a more academic perspective on the science of edginess. Dark: I never agreed to this.
EE0: Hey, there are far worse things you could be getting college credit for. Anyway, the readers don't want to hear about us. They want to get started on being edgy. So let's get to it!


Your fabulous hosts, EE0 (left) and MooNsHinEdARK (right)
What Is Edginess, Anyway?

Edginess or Edge is the noun form of the word "edgy", something boring people use to describe anything that offends their boring sensibilities.

Dark: EE, there's more to it than that.

Ok, right. Let me see...I took a sociology class once, so I've got this. "Edgy" implies a very specific kind of non-conformism, one which goes against social norms but doesn't completely violate them, pushing the edge, so to speak, of what's acceptable. It's used as a blanket term for various subcultures, but doesn't refer to any specific culture or aesthetic. It's probably existed as long as culture itself has, and takes many forms depending on what it's trying to defy. We aren't going to discuss any particular subculture or variant of edginess in this guide, rather, we're going to give you the explanations and basic concepts of edginess to allow you to explore it on your own terms. Because of its highly variable nature based on individual and cultural concepts, the word "edgy" is hard to define, so this is the closest rule we can create for what edginess generally means, which you can apply to your own contexts.

Think of a social group which you belong to, for example, a fan club or your owner's other Neopets.
If what you're doing makes members of this group scared or concerned, but not enough to kick you out, you probably count as "edgy" within the context of that group.

With this attempt at explaining what exactly being edgy is, or what we're saying is edgy for the purpose of this article, let's get into your possible motivations and make sure you know what you signed up for when you decided to read this.

Why Be Edgy?

As we said in the beginning, edginess is a commitment. It's basically acting, except you're going to be doing it all the time to people who know and care about you and can't easily stop. You're going to be deceiving people you love and who've known you for years, as well as making new friends. But those new friends don't want to see you, they want to see a cooler version of you. You may be wondering "EE, your most magnificent edginess, if my new friends just want to see the cooler, edgier version of me, are they really my friends? All the books my owner used to read me tell me that I should be myself.

If you've gotten to this point, you might as well give up on those books. If you're considering an edgy phase, you shouldn't be thinking about making "real" friends or being yourself. The whole point of this whole thing is to get attention. You're hoping that if what you say scares people enough, someone will finally listen. Are these people your real friends? No. Are you being yourself? No. But you're going to get noticed and people will think that you're cool and deep, and that's probably what you want.

Dark: Uh, EE, might I have a word? I took a couple of psychology classes as electives, and you're not really explaining the full picture.
EE0: Go right ahead, I'm sure our readers want to see a more academic explanation.

Dark: All right. So, EE just said that if you're having an edgy phase and doing it as a persona, or as she put it, acting except you can never stop, you're not being yourself, which isn't necessarily true. In fact, part of the whole reason edginess has existed as a concept as long as it has is that "being yourself" is rather ill-defined. The concept of edginess, and the aesthetics which go along with it, were popularized by teenagers. Adolescence is one of the most confusing and stressful times in a Neopet's life. It's when they figure out who they are and how they fit into their culture, as well as the first time they start learning about the problems with it and that not everything is perfect. Because adolescent Neopets start really questioning themselves and their social contexts for the first time, they may not act like themselves because they don't really know who they are and need to separate their social groups' expectations of them from who they are as an individual. Thus, they may have an "edgy phase" and temporarily go against their social group in an effort to explore new social groups and how they fit into the ones they belong to. By defying expectations for them, they can explore which of them are true and come out of their edgy phase with a better understanding of themselves. A teenage Neopet may not necessarily really know who they are, so it's perfectly natural for them to try on personas and see what sticks. They're supposed to grow out of an edgy phase, and if they don't, that might be a warning sign, since going against cultural norms completely can result in worse life outcomes and difficulties in making friends and generally succeeding.

EE0: Wow. That one psychology class you took really stuck. Anyway, she makes some good points. Edginess is a commitment, and don't be surprised if you end up losing some friends since you aren't acting like the person they expect you to be, but keep in mind that what you do to be edgy isn't necessarily who you really are so much as a way of exploring the concept of "you"-ness by briefly being the anti-you. So if you're comfortable in who you are, it may not be for you.

What Does Edge Look Like?

That depends entirely on where you are. Edge is, at its core, simply going against the norms of your social group, and what those are depends on your group. For example, if you live on the Darigan Citadel, wearing all black and red and being covered in spikes is normal, but if you did the same thing in Faerieland, that'd be edgy, and thus a cause for concern. If you want to have an edgy phase, the core question you need to ask yourself is who you're trying to impress and basically, who you're going against by your phase. Try asking yourself these questions to determine what your edgy phase may look like:

  1. Who decides things for you? Whose expectations are you expected to live up to? Who makes the rules and norms in your social group. For most Neopets, this will probably be their owner, or perhaps an older sibling or teacher.
  2. What does that person not like or say you shouldn't do? Consider this wisely. Not everything is a good idea to defy, things like "don't eat moldy food", even if they are societal norms, might not be healthy to go against. I wouldn't recommend doing anything during an edgy phase that might harm yourself or others, this can create physical and social damage that can't easily be recovered from. The most basic form of edgy phase uses aesthetics, and occasionally viewpoints. Whatever your rule-maker tells you to wear or create or listen to, don't, and go against what they believe at every opportunity. If your rule-maker thinks the Darkest Faerie deserved to be imprisoned, get a Free the Darkest Faerie T-shirt. If your rule-maker loves Yes Boy Ice Cream, blast Twisted Roses and slam your door.
  3. What do you want people to think of you as? Do you want to be known as a sensitive, tormented artist? If so, even though they may both be described as "edgy", that's going to be a completely different persona from a dangerous rebel on a skateboard. If you're looking to get a new social group, find some people you think of as edgy and try to gain their approval. Describe what you do to your rule-maker to them and judge their reactions. If they think what you did was cool, keep doing it. From this point onward_ their opinions are the only ones that matter to you.

You're probably asking after Question 2, "But, EE, your fully legitimate magnificence, what if I actually like what my rule-maker approves of? Am I supposed to give up things I enjoy?

What I say to that is a resounding and definite yes. That's not who you really are, that's just what others say you should be! Abandon everything you love in favor of defying your rule-maker, it's the only way to express your individuality! But you're probably asking "Uh, EE, isn't framing everything I do to defy my rule-maker still basing my entire personality around them?" What I say to that is that you should be quiet and listen to some non-rulemaker-sanctioned music.

Dark: Uh, a word from your academic consultant? The purpose of an edgy phase is to expand one's personality beyond the authority figure and to take initiative in life by rebelling against aspects of the authority figure's rules that one objects to. Just objecting to everything the authority figure does isn't going to help anyone grow as an individual, since as your hypothetical reader said, they're still basing their entire personality around defying the authority figure rather than developing their own set of rules, which is what they really need to do to fully mature. Also, social groups are an important part of one's identity, but satisfying them shouldn't make up all of it. Social groups dissolve and change. If someone bases all of what they are around a group and then the group loses members or changes its norms, it can leave them feeling empty and isolated and damage their future relationships.

EE0: Please stop talking, or writing, as the case may be. I'm the Edginess Expert. Not you. And I don't care about my readers' "proper development". That's their problem. I'm just trying to help them express their individuality through basing their entire personality around a poorly defined counter-culture.

Dark: But if someone does as you suggest, their entire personality is going to be based around what they're not and that they're not like other Neopets. If you make someone's personality based entirely around what they're not, how are they supposed to figure out what they are?

EE0: That's irrelevant. I don't care about my readers' social lives or proper development. I care about whether they're subservient to me. If I get this Edginess Guide out and popularized, I can get a whole generation of impressionable teenage Neopets completely serving me, doing whatever I tell them to do, or not do, as the case may be. By turning them completely against their social groups, I'm creating a generation of angry, angsty, alienated Neopets desperate for validation and meaning, which I'll give them, turning them into my own personal edgelord army.

Dark: You're insane. You're honestly going to destroy Neopets who just want to be cool and have friends so you can boost your own ego?

EE0: Yes. Yes, I am. And I'm not destroying anyone, I'm just giving them a new identity, defined entirely by me. You can trust me, readers. I'm EE, your friendly Edginess Life Coach, and I'm here to help you. Now go abandon everything you love in favor of defiance and eagerly await my next article!

With love,
EE0: The Edginess Expert

EE and the Edge Flight: Arrival in Sorineth

August 6, 2021
TW: non-detailed mentions of abduction, dubious consent, cults, and child abuse in a fantasy context. PG-13 level swearing.

This is based on Flight Rising lore concerning a non-canonical alternate universe version of EE who ended up in Sorineth and hailed as a deity. Her entire previous lorebase happened in this AU. Nearly all potentially disturbing content in this story is based on Flight Rising game mechanics.

I'd gotten pretty used to the void. It wasn't pleasant or anything, but I accepted there wasn't really a way out, so there was no point in angsting about it. If nothing else, I'd figured out how to get the mental projection thing working for me. I lay back on my bed, music blasting around me. The voices of angsty boys discussing their despair via songs that used a total of 3 chords alternating with distortion guitars and screaming echoed slightly off the meaninglessly mirrored walls of my personal prison. Okay, to put it less alliteratively, I was still closed in a geodesic dome made of black mirrors. But I had figured out how to get it to bend to my will, complete with manifesting extra people, mostly characters I liked.

"Really, Blanche, while I'd like to get more involved with El again and I'd love my Ellendale Enforcer powers back, I've got a pretty sweet deal here. You know, save being a snake." I twitched my tail back and forth as a couple of drips of black slime ran off it and then dissipated into oblivion.

My favorite Mystic placed her hand against her chin and tapped one of her fingers against it like fictional people always do when they think. I knew that being a mental projection, she wouldn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but it was still nice to have someone to talk to.

"My most esteemed, exalted Enforcer, I suppose it's true, literally, that your surroundings are really a matter of your perception...wait, what was that? I've never felt animum like this." She darted her head towards an expanding disc of red light which sent off jagged bursts of energy which cut into the void. Eventually one pulsed over me and I found myself being drawn towards the rift, and also feeling decidedly like a bar code.

"Wait, can you even feel animum? You're just a construct of my mind and we don't technically exist!" I yelled after her as I vanished into the hole. I didn't catch what she said.

"It worked! It worked! The true Lord of Edge can now return and wreak Her vengeance upon this accursed world! And it was my machinations that made this possible."

A serpentine creature let out a triumphant cackle from a mouth lined with sharp teeth. It didn't look like anything I'd ever seen. I would have assumed it was a Hissi, but its pointed horns and external ears made it clear the thing was something else entirely. It frantically gesticulated with two front limbs accented by small wings as it hovered above the ground with its two back wings. Save a hood and a cape, it wore absolutely nothing, and I couldn't read any expression in its blank white eyes. Another creature that resembled a winged Asian-style dragon, the kind El taught classes about, glared at it, its annoyance obvious despite its small eyes.

"Vibes, seriously? Unless you were the one...machinating with a faceless mass of sludge, I don't think you can take the credit."

"Ellendalicon, you know you'd be nothing without me. The act of your copulation with Corruptium is irrelevant. What concerns us is the energy which was able to bring EE to us, most of which I provided."

"Ellendalicon? Like that fanfic I wrote back in Reno?" I responded without really thinking about it as I looked around, trying to get an idea of where I was and what had happened. I knew if nothing else, I had a splitting headache. I'd been in the dark for months and whatever body I was currently in was seeing things, including the light of an alien sun, in more detail than I was used to. I felt like I could grab a mouse from 500 feet.

Everyone stared at me with an expression I'd never seen before - actual reverence. Whatever these dragon-things were, they knew I was a big deal, and treated me as such. I hadn't seen anything like that from anyone. Even when El enthused about Nightcore or something, they weren't that enraptured.

"Take a picture. It'll last you longer. So I'm guessing y'all worship me or something? Well, if that's the case, my first assignment as your Lord of Edge is for someone to get me some sunglasses or a visor or something. The light's hurting my eyes."

A small black creature that appeared to be the same species as "Vibes" shyly approached me and offered me a veil they seemed to have just removed from their face, based on the sweat or whatever it was that coated its inside. I tried wiping it off, but only ended up smearing it with black slime. Guess no matter how much magic these dragons had, they couldn't fix that. The veil itself looked heavily impractical, covered in flourishes and with Roman numeral-coated ribbons dangling off of its visor-like base, but at least it was something. I put it on and let my eyes adjust to the resulting dark, eventually getting back some degree of awareness of my surroundings. Months covered by a censor bar had trained me for this.

"That's better. Now then, you dragons. Tell me where I am, who you are, what you are, and why you summoned me."

"Vibes" approached me, still giggling out of some combination of religious fervor and things I didn't want to know about. "Well, my liege, I'm BadVibes. I'm a dragon, and you're in Sorineth. The world we'll soon shape to your-"

"Your name is 'bad vibes'? I'm concerned about the Sorineth thing, too, but how much did your parents hate you?"

"We all renamed ourselves to be closer to you, my liege. I should introduce you to the other members of my flight. These are Slimy, Ransom, Edgeforcer, Destruction, and Ellendalicon. You've met Destruction and Ellendalicon."

I recognized the serpentine dragon who gave me the veil and the Asian-esque one from before, but the other two serpentine things he gestured to I didn't remember. The one he referred to as Ransom was covered in assorted jewelry and had a vaguely insectoid look about them; they had compound eyes and their body was sort of crystalline in texture. Edgeforcer looked more reasonable, just another black, slimy dragon in a red hood. I wasn't paying much attention to them, though, because the one who Bad Vibes called "Slimy" didn't look too happy. They alternated between glaring at the hooded dragon and fidgeting with their matching spiked cape.

"My loyalty isn't with you or your false deity, heathen! My true allegiance is with Ascendant Edge and my husband, Distorticon! When he finds you-"

Ransom and Edgeforcer both jumped on Slimy and said some things to them I didn't care to contemplate before they all focused on me. I stared at Bad Vibes as an uncomfortable realization began to creep up on me.

"So, I take it that Slimy doesn't want to be here."

"She doesn't. I expected her to come around once she saw you, seeing as I fell in love with her at first sight since she reminded me of your glorious fluidity." Bad Vibes sounded almost pleased with this, reminiscing on it like it was a romantic scene.

"Dude. She said she had a husband and pretty clearly doesn't like you. I don't know if things are different here on 'Sorineth', but at least in my world, that's not cool, man. You should let her go back to Distorticon."

Bad Vibes attempted to placate me with a dismissive hand wave. "No matter. How about I introduce you to our constructs and tell you more about our plans for you and how we got you here? I can also tell you more about Sorineth if you wish, my liege. You're going to need to know if we're going to reshape it in our image."

"We are not done with this discussion. But fine. Getting some local lore would be useful."

Bad Vibes proceeded to lead me through assorted ruined structures which appeared to be mostly composed of stained marble, bent metal, and broken glass. Various ancient wells and baths squirmed with something that was either an unidentifiable dark liquid or a disconcertingly large number of equally dark serpentine creatures. Some of the stuff in the wells emerged from them and snapped at me as Bad Vibes and I went past.

"Yeah, we share this space with the Shadeswarm. It's unfortunate, really, seeing as this world isn't worthy of the blissful unawareness of oblivion. In short, most of these wells aren't ours. This one is, though! This is where we keep our failed children. Before we summoned you, we exalted them to deliver their energy to you once they were of age in order to widen the rift. But now that you're here, you can just absorb them yourself! No need to wait for them to be of age anymore either, they don't need to fight anymore."

"What."

"Here! Their souls are yours for the devouring, my liege. They're even slimy so you can absorb them directly into your body without using the sinful flesh."

He reached into the well and pulled out several small serpentine creatures in assorted shades of black, red, and white. They appeared to be the same species as him. The creatures squirmed in his grasp, playfully snapping at and slithering on top of each other as slime dripped off their bodies. One of them looked up at Bad Vibes with large, innocent yellow eyes and said something I assumed translated to "daddy" while blinking against the light.

"Those are babies, Bad Vibes. Where did you get them? Put those back."

"It's fine. They're all children of the clan. This one's actually from me and Slimy. It's a failure in comparison to your true vessel, though, so being absorbed into you is the best fate it could hope for."

"You and Slimy have children...and we've established that you kidnapped her away from her husband and family and that she doesn't like me, your worship of me, or you."

"It's just a union of our magics! She's lucky to have someone as pure as me!"

"I think I've heard enough. That's it. I'm out of here. And stop sacrificing your children to me."

"You can't just leave! Not after all we did to bring you here! Don't you want a seat of power in this world? You could be above the Eleven! Above the Shade! Force Sorineth to stare into its own slime-stained face and produce a new age of edge!"

"Look, dude. From what I can tell, your meaning of 'edge' is being able to hurt people and say whatever you want without consequences. That's not edgy, it's just mean. And even if it were truly edgy, wouldn't rebuilding the world in your own image negate the whole purpose? If everyone is edgy, no one is and you'd need to stop being edgy if you wanted to be. It's the whole problem with defining stuff based on negatives."

"Wait! You haven't even seen our constructs! Also, edge is a literal physical thing. I know, I've made people out of it. To serve you, of course, my liege!"

"You made entire new people to serve me. And let me guess, I can absorb them too?"

"You can if you want, but we didn't make them for that purpose. We made them to breed your vessel. And they're not 'entire new people', we just enhance dragons' pre-existing edgy impulses until they lose control of their animum and become creatures of pure edge. We needed that purity in order to create a body that was worthy of you."

"You destroyed other dragons, other sentient beings, and turned them into creatures of pure edge for the sole purpose of mating with members of your cult to make me a body. Somehow that's even worse than the child sacrifices."

"So you're not going to absorb them?"

"No. You're going to keep them and take care of them and treat them like the sentient beings and equal members of your...organization they are. I don't mind y'all worshipping me, but I do mind you being total assholes about it."

"My liege! I thought you were an embodiment of destruction, corruption, and despair. Why do you care about us being nice?"

"Because maybe you shouldn't believe everything you read? I'm an edgelord, Bad Vibes. What I say I am is usually heavily exaggerated wish fulfillment from the real thing. But seriously, this engagement is over. I'm gonna go off and find myself or something. Goodbye. And by the way, I'm disappointed in you and you'll never really be edgy."

After that stunning comeback, I took off majestically into the sky, inspiring awe in all the members of Bad Vibes' cult as I flew off on my 6 wings...wait. 6 wings? That's not...guess I'm one of those long skinny dragon things now. Apparently despite being in a high-animum dimension and not limited by my ref, Bad Vibes and his friends couldn't afford a body with actual breasts. Great. Anyway, I promptly crashed into a pillar because I couldn't steer. Hopefully they didn't see that. I began traveling west toward a beckoning darkness, hoping to find a way to either find a place in this world or return to my own.



Playlist

Yeah, that's right, your liege has better music taste than you. El also has some songs that remind them of me...isn't that adorable? Anyway, it's all very angsty. Inner demons and all that. I approve. And they'll be even edgier when I get them back...

If you want a full Multimedia Experience (TM), you can listen to these songs on YouTube here.

Absolute Jams
Get Scared - Sarcasm
Disturbed - The Vengeful One
Disturbed - Hell
Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na
Panic! At The Disco - Victorious
Mindless Self Indulgence - Witness
Panic! At The Disco - Emperor's New Clothes
Bring Me The Horizon - Happy Song
Maretu - Mind Brand (Jubyphonic Cover)
Simon Curtis - Delusional
Digital Daggers - The Devil Within
Invocation Array - Bloodsong
Orgy - Come Back
Yohioloid - The Distortionist
Imperative Reaction - Surface
Blue Stahli - ULTRAnumb
AFI - Miss Murder
Markus Schulz - Nothing Without Me
La Roux - Tigerlily
Jeffree Star - Picture Perfect
Stuff El Thinks Reminds Them Of Me
Falling In Reverse - Popular Monster
Mike Shinoda - Running From My Shadow
Linkin Park - Crawling
Icon For Hire - Venom
Halsey - Control
Marina - Oh No!
Icon For Hire - Up In Flames
Disturbed - Voices
Cristina Vee - Bad Apple!!
Simon Curtis - Joshua
Simon Curtis - Pit of Vipers
Altessa - Webs
Korn - Narcissistic Cannibal
Korn - Got The Life
Celldweller - Switchback
CircusP - Copycat (JubyPhonic Cover)
Crusher - Echo (JubyPhonic Cover)

Alternate Projections

What...what is this? It's almost...cute. What kind of mockery is El attempting? Do they find this humorous? Well, I suppose I should be flattered that I've penetrated their mind enough that I'm the first thing they bring with them when faced with new horizons.



El does not understand how 3D modeling works and lacks the graphics specifications and strength of mind to run almost anything released after 2005. But apparently they still attempt to modify things using Photoshop and gumption. I can almost admire that. Almost, if it wasn't an attempt to control me. boolProp testingCheatsEnabledTrue, edgelord. Don't be surprised when my neighbors start getting eaten by flies.